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When Was the Last Time You Cried? Understanding the Power of Tears


It's ok for boys to cry
A teen boy crying

We've all been there - that moment when emotions well up and tears start to flow. But when was the last time you truly allowed yourself to cry? In a world that often equates tears with weakness, it's time to reconsider the power and benefits of this uniquely human expression.


The Science of Crying

I know that I feel a lightness after a good cry. There is a sense of release and relief. Crying is a natural response humans have to a range of emotions. Interestingly, we are the only animals known to shed emotional tears. Did you know we produce three types of tears?




  1. Basal tears: These keep our eyes moist.

  2. Reflex tears: These flush out irritants.

  3. Emotional tears: These are shed in response to feelings and contain higher levels of stress hormones and protein. 


The Surprising Benefits of Shedding Tears

Far from being a sign of weakness, crying offers numerous health benefits. And I feel that a person who is not afraid to shed a tear or two is in touch with their feelings. So why cry?


  1. Self-soothing: When you cry your body starts to relax. Your heart rate slows down and the parasympathetic nervous system gets involved. This suggests that tears may allow our nervous system to mellow out and recalibrate. 

  2. Pain relief: Emotional tears release oxytocin and endorphins, which can ease both physical and emotional pain.

  3. Mood enhancement: These same "feel-good" chemicals can lift our spirits.

  4. Stress relief: Crying may help reduce stress hormone levels in the body. 

  5. Social support: Crying can signal to others that we need support, strengthening social bonds. The extra protein is hypothesized to make emotional tears more viscous, so they stick to the skin more and run down the face more slowly, making them more likely to be seen by others. 


Breaking the Stigma

Despite these benefits, many people, especially men, feel the need to suppress their tears. In the United States, women cry an average of 5.3 times a month, while men cry an average of 1.3 times per month. In the UK, research shows that women, especially younger women, cry more than men and this crying gender gap is also closely related to cultural upbringing and societal expectations. However, these numbers suggest that crying is more common than we might think.

Practical Tips for Embracing Your Tears:

  • Create a Safe Space: Find a private and comfortable space where you feel safe to express your emotions without judgment.

  • Allow Yourself to Feel: Don't try to suppress or dismiss your feelings. Acknowledge them, explore them, and allow yourself to cry if needed.

  • Journal Your Emotions: Writing about your feelings can be a therapeutic way to process and understand them better.

  • Talk to a Trusted Friend or Therapist: Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can provide valuable support and perspective.

  • Join Supportive Communities: Connect with online or in-person groups where you can share your experiences and receive encouragement from others who understand. Supportive communities like Mums Meet Up create safe spaces where you can connect with other moms, share your experiences, and find strength in shared vulnerability.

  • Challenge Societal Norms: Speak up about the importance of emotional expression and challenge those who perpetuate harmful stereotypes.


When Crying Might Signal a Problem

While crying is normal and healthy, excessive or uncontrollable crying might indicate depression. If you find yourself crying frequently without apparent reason, or if it's affecting your daily life, it's important to speak with a healthcare professional.


Embracing Our Tears

So, when was the last time you cried? Whether it was tears of joy, sadness, or frustration, remember that crying is a natural, healthy part of the human experience. By allowing ourselves to cry when we need to, we're not showing weakness - we're embracing our humanity and potentially boosting our physical and emotional well-being.


Next time you feel tears welling up, consider letting them flow. Your body and mind might thank you for it. And if you feel that you need support, contact us

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